Saturday, December 17, 2011

The Sounds of Silence



Remember the acoustic feel of the Simon & Garfunkel hit of the ‘60s? The compelling music draws you to it and makes you listen again... and in silence. Silence is related to in many ways and forms. For most silence is often correlated with solace, stillness, unhappiness and punishment and for some it is a way to seek enlightenment and self-realization. The world we live in continually moves towards noise so much so that it’s deemed pollution. In fact the silence of one person threatens the peaceful existence of the society. Even the observation of silence at unfortunate events becomes discomforting to many. The truth is that both Silence and the absence of it can be accepted only intermittently, the continuity creates a disturbance.

Try walking into a Bahai faith temple and the ubiquitous silence in the hall reveals itself differently, the mind apprehends the vacuum and the changed environment makes you think – here lips are motionless but the thoughts reverberate inside your cerebellum. The vow of silence by Anna Hazare recently created more than the combined cacophony of imposing opponents. The silent approach to the execution noose by Saddam Hussein left people thinking. The “Silence of the Lambs” is actually about the numbness of not being able to scream or cry oneself in a moment where you would want to. Two mute people use the medium of hands and expressions to speak to each other in existence of silence. Thus the sound inherent in the silence becomes the noise and challenges the very notion of “Silence”.

Silence belies the meaning and the reason behind it. You may be attracted to silence but once you are subjected to the state of silence you would probably scream out loud. You shut off the idiot box because you can’t tolerate the rambling on a channel, only to switch it on again when silence engulfs you. You want silence around at your workplace, but the sudden lack of noise as you walk in over to your desk makes you think “Is something wrong around here?” Silence becomes some thing that we long for but we don’t know what to do with, much like the dog that chases each passing car.

…And why so serious?! While you may judge if silence is good or bad, wanted or unwanted, it actually depends on the situation and the subject. Does a stock broker really want silence on the trade floor? His life and wage depends on the incessant clangor, silence would mean a Black Friday!! Music too inherently depends on silence in some form or another to distinguish other periods of sound and allow dynamics, melodies and rhythms to have greater impact. Does it imply that silence too is a sound? Think aloud in your silence….

Thursday, September 22, 2011

"IF"

“If” - The beautiful poem on the entrance of Wimbledon courts by Rudyard Kipling.

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it...


“IF” is most likelihood the most exciting word in true sense that comes out of the dictionary. “If” rides in with such possibilities that otherwise may create nondescript landscape. What if the word “if” and its reason never existed? We would have lived a life without options, alternatives, retrospect, introspect, and maybe any thought into the future. Our actions would never be evaluated and there would be no judgment. Statisticians like me wouldn’t have existed because the entire concept of probability rests on the two letter word “IF”. Now that opens up the bag of thoughts, let me leave aside myself for a moment (when I am maybe only a proton in size compared to the larger scheme of the universe) and think WHAT IF the following never happened:

WHAT IF God had not created Eve…?
WHAT IF both earth and sun revolved around each other…?
WHAT IF you could sleep and wake up at your will…?
WHAT IF you could travel time and see the future…?

Doesn’t life suddenly become eventless, unexciting and predictable? Because there is an “If”, we live with endless possibilities and boundless energies. The last question is most often heard of, and if you ask me it is a waste of thought, the reason being if you could see your future you would try to correct it now and change its course but if that’s possible then the future you saw initially was never true. Why would you want to believe in the future you see when you know you could change it…? If we get to see the future perpetually then we would never look into it. It’s just like a toy a child wants badly until he has it, once he gets it the enigma is solved and life with it becomes uneventful.

WHAT IF I could be perfect? Sounds wonderful but perfection isn’t valued for long, it is the eccentricity and idiosyncrasy in world that defines it. We exist to make things happen, my friend’s 5 year old son once asked his mother “What if all the students score the same in the class examinations, who comes 1st then?” I cannot explain and find a reasonable conclusion. The dilemma wins the war over the clarity of thought. A single instance of putting a “What if XYZ event in the history of the world happened differently” can steer the entire sequence of events into a new universe of possibilities. “If” is indispensable because it brings us into the face of reality, at the same time “If” moves us into a diverse range of potentials. Place an “If” before your future actions and not before your past actions… live in the moment, rise to the challenges “if” poses to your being. WHAT IF brings worry, caution, fear, sadness when you reason but explodes you into an enchanting realm when you dream…. Realize the madness and happiness even if unrealistic and temporary it brings…

Dream today, “what if” tomorrow is not the one you want to be in….
And seize the day, “what if” tomorrow never comes!!

Friday, June 03, 2011

Dewdrops and a little bit of life….


The refreshing splatter of the first monsoon rain drops on the window by my office desk, the cloud cover causing the opacity in my view of the Powai hills, country music playing on my blackberry and the sudden cheerfulness around was enough to push me on to a cup of Java and a new word document. I had this sudden impulse to express so much after the inertia that had lasted on my blog for close to 18 months. Nothing goes without a reason and this inertia too was due to a transitory phase in my life, Delhi to Hyderabad propelled me to start this writing sojourn, Hyderabad to Bombay was a jittery road and now that I know Bombay to Delhi isn’t happening soon I feel that I need to release the inflexibility of my mind. I have changed from loathing the city during the first one year to actually start exploring and enjoying it in the next one.


A lot of this change is also due to the 5 weeks I got to spend in US last year and upon return suddenly my life and the prevailing circumstances weren’t what they used to be. NO, I didn’t change much, nothing accentuated but the situations around and people who made up my world changed. Initial jerk was way too much to bear but doesn’t that always happen when you are in the backseat of your car and trust the drivers skills on a darkest stretch of road, he is speeding and you’re sleeping just when he hits the speed breaking rows of cat-eyes… each organ in your entire system rolls up and down like a slot machine. I too woke up with such a shake from my slumber as if slapped hard as well poured on with a bucket full of chilled water. I tried to walk but stumbled like a baby trying to make his first steps unassisted. This inebriated state of my mind I tried to camouflage using actual stimulants, alcohol justified the situation to the bystanders but I knew the actual drug was the one in my mind and rolling down from my eyes….

The mind knows when the drug stops working on you, the world can smile at the joker on the street each day but cant bear him crying the second day… they move on leaving him unnoticed. It was my turn to move on without looking at the empty backpack left… when I let it go I knew it was a little more than I would have wanted to carry on with me, in fact I could give a little rest to myself leaving the baggage away for a while and walk alone… the walks that started in a group of many and had outpaced me now challenged me to run and catch up with the herd. The desire to outrun begins either when you are nearing the finish line and you realize the potential or when the space between you and your opponent is nothing but a drop of time. I took the reins to my life, got back in shape and believed that when you are in a race of 300 circles losing one doesn’t matter because in the end its persistence and not strength that wins.

A new day, a new way with the new year and I chanced upon a new beginning… the catharsis had ended and the reflux of happiness began as I started to become what I was years ago. I made my resolutions and stopped being afraid of myself, this time it was going to be me… I am no more in the pillion but very much facing the wind because I know what lies behind me is lost to me and as they say the greener pastures, fair winds and sunny skies are all for me… Way to go, cheers to life!!