One thing that has always intrigued me is that we try to escape from whatever is destined for us. The basis why I write this piece on my blog is that this time I came across the wallpaper above. Though I do not consider myself old enough to comment on the topic at hand, however the 23 springs my life has seen do have some reflections on the basis of my experience. When I was doing school I enjoyed the timeliness of things but always thought what it would be like to wake up an hour later each day and have a hearty breakfast. This happened because school started early and I was always rushing out grabbing a jam toast to catch the bus. And I couldn’t do much but comply with whatever went on.
Finally I went to college after 12 years of structured learning. Now I study what I wanted to, even bunk classes and watch a movie with friends, get up late and skip a class, more so I even could have a girl friend – a possibility either I never thought of or more honestly I let fate have the say. Though I enjoyed college, I somehow was raring to enter the corporate world. I provided tuition's to senior classes for mathematics to fund my pocket expenses. I enjoyed the economic freedom from home which reduced accountability. The first few positive cash inflows meant more than money, like a pair of branded sneakers, a new sling bag and more. Then I started working with an internet based firm only to spend a lot of time before the computer. I even skipped classes at times and was considered a bit geeky by my friends. More I worked more I wanted to, I just wanted the remaining months of college to rush by. Finally I did get a job a month before I finished college. Work brought money, creative satisfaction and happiness. But one off sad incident in office would make me say “It was better back in college”, somewhere within I had started missing college. I was out of touch with a lot of old batch mates. It was now that I started considering seriously my prospects of doing a masters degree. In a year from when I began, a lot happened and finally I found myself sitting in front of the chief bank manager requesting a massive loan. My economic freedom was to end, I would be paying off my hard earned money for more than 3 years. But then I looked forward to some enjoyment in college.
Once I was here at my second college, I did enjoy attending business lectures, participating in intellectually stimulating talks and more. As I found time I would dig into books, movies and almost ever overcasting sleep. On days I slept 4 hours and sometimes even 15 hours!! I saw some unprofessional attitude unbecoming of b-school students each day. The picture I had drawn of Mona Lisa wasn’t even what Picasso could have done. I was overjoyed when I was taken in for an internship with a consultancy. I loved being back to work (though it meant sacrificing sleep!). Three months sped by in an incredible hurry and I was back to school. Some days of the internship when the manager wasn’t happy with the deliverable it came into my mind that school was better, you had the freedom to experiment and explore but here you had to be bang on.
Now still at school, half my days are spent applying to jobs, searching on job portals and talking to people to build corporate contact. Somewhere in all this I have missed sitting back to enjoying life – if that ever was an opportunity. I could have done so much while I kept myself so complicated. I try to convince but more often than not counter arguments win. I let myself sleep a lot, you’d ask why….not because I have time but because if I cant see the light with my eyes open or rest on the bondi beach then why not in my dreams. I sleep to structure my dreams, my visions are taking shape atleast somewhere. I am not missing life…I am living each moment even if u may call it virtually. I may be losing but may be I am just raring to hit back with a big bang….complex isn’t it?....leave it..have a nice day…
Finally I went to college after 12 years of structured learning. Now I study what I wanted to, even bunk classes and watch a movie with friends, get up late and skip a class, more so I even could have a girl friend – a possibility either I never thought of or more honestly I let fate have the say. Though I enjoyed college, I somehow was raring to enter the corporate world. I provided tuition's to senior classes for mathematics to fund my pocket expenses. I enjoyed the economic freedom from home which reduced accountability. The first few positive cash inflows meant more than money, like a pair of branded sneakers, a new sling bag and more. Then I started working with an internet based firm only to spend a lot of time before the computer. I even skipped classes at times and was considered a bit geeky by my friends. More I worked more I wanted to, I just wanted the remaining months of college to rush by. Finally I did get a job a month before I finished college. Work brought money, creative satisfaction and happiness. But one off sad incident in office would make me say “It was better back in college”, somewhere within I had started missing college. I was out of touch with a lot of old batch mates. It was now that I started considering seriously my prospects of doing a masters degree. In a year from when I began, a lot happened and finally I found myself sitting in front of the chief bank manager requesting a massive loan. My economic freedom was to end, I would be paying off my hard earned money for more than 3 years. But then I looked forward to some enjoyment in college.
Once I was here at my second college, I did enjoy attending business lectures, participating in intellectually stimulating talks and more. As I found time I would dig into books, movies and almost ever overcasting sleep. On days I slept 4 hours and sometimes even 15 hours!! I saw some unprofessional attitude unbecoming of b-school students each day. The picture I had drawn of Mona Lisa wasn’t even what Picasso could have done. I was overjoyed when I was taken in for an internship with a consultancy. I loved being back to work (though it meant sacrificing sleep!). Three months sped by in an incredible hurry and I was back to school. Some days of the internship when the manager wasn’t happy with the deliverable it came into my mind that school was better, you had the freedom to experiment and explore but here you had to be bang on.
Now still at school, half my days are spent applying to jobs, searching on job portals and talking to people to build corporate contact. Somewhere in all this I have missed sitting back to enjoying life – if that ever was an opportunity. I could have done so much while I kept myself so complicated. I try to convince but more often than not counter arguments win. I let myself sleep a lot, you’d ask why….not because I have time but because if I cant see the light with my eyes open or rest on the bondi beach then why not in my dreams. I sleep to structure my dreams, my visions are taking shape atleast somewhere. I am not missing life…I am living each moment even if u may call it virtually. I may be losing but may be I am just raring to hit back with a big bang….complex isn’t it?....leave it..have a nice day…
it sure is complex.....actually have never thought of something like structuring thoughts in my dreams....till i let this new argument somehow make inroads into my system i would say u have outdone urself this time round.....
ReplyDeletefirstly the wallpaper was a gr8 find....since u have already said a lot about it i wont take the trouble....u could do with a hefty breakfast alright....it used to be a 200 ml tetra-pack juice for a long duration...and what did u say about not living life???????.......u had the time to read books, dance, bunnk classes, spend quantity time( some quantity!!!!!!!!!) with ur girlfrien.....either u just say it cause of the wallpaper or u never relished these moments.....
well most ppl dont.....